“Do you want anymore cognac?” the dark-eyed Spanish beauty asked. Do I want any more cognac? No. I’m already trashed as it is, but my mind keeps running away with thoughts of the woman who stole my heart, my soul a little over a month ago.
“Sure” I murmured.
Her cat-like smile sensually plastered on her face while she poured. I took a mouthful sip and loved the smooth burn of the expensive liquor. Her hand caressed the exposed spot on my chest where my shirt was unbuttoned. She’s obviously trying to get my attention, but I chose to ignore her. She took my indifference as a green light and started to hastily undo my shirt.
Hell, this woman is adamant.
She started to kiss my neck, chest and stomach. Her tongue lingered around the edge of my trousers. I just stared at her. Waiting to see how far she’d go to please me. Women are always this easy—they never say no—always willing to spread their legs wide open anytime, anyplace.
Well, with the exception of one. The one I wanted more than anything.
The one I fell in love with but walked away from me.
Fuck the blasted karma. My head’s been bombarded with thoughts of her—thoughts of her with that insipid man that she’s with. My heart squeezed as I tasted acid in my mouth. The hell with it!—if she doesn’t want me then there are tons of women who are more than willing to accommodate me….like this harlot trying to appease me and my moodiness.
I groaned as she undid my pants, slightly lifting my hips so she can easily pull it down. She stroked my semi-hard cock as she sought for my lips.
“No. There will be no kissing. I’ve exercised that fact enough. If you’re not happy with it—you know where the door is.” I hissed at her. Her dark eyes widened from shock but fully recovered from it after a few seconds.
I don’t give a fuck if she stays or not.
“Whatever you want mi amor,” purring as she lowered her head to capture the head of my shaft. I released a sigh and leaned back on the couch as she started to stroke it with her tongue.
Damn, why did I expect it to be like hers? Not only did she steal my heart, but she stole a bloody part of my sex life.
FUCK! Bloody Fuck!
How will I ever be satisfied with any other woman if she was the best I’ve ever had? She gave a mean head…and when she takes you—she gave it her all—and there was nowhere to go but to get sucked into that soul-gripping abyss.
This woman before me—fucking mediocre—most of them are when it gets down to dirty business.
Most women aren’t gifted, only some are. And let me tell you—there aren’t many of them out there. Some can be okay, some good, some great, but only a few will seriously blow your bloody fucking mind. Sienna was the bloody fucking package. And I loathe her even more as the day goes by.
Finally, the woman managed to get my dick up.
I pulled my wallet and handed Maria Reyes a foil packet of condom. Leaning back again on the couch, I closed my eyes thinking of Sienna. Hearing the foil packet tearing, she gently rolled it on my cock. I met her two days ago at a friend’s party and she latched on like the leech that she is—but I don’t mind that, not at all—at least she was honest with what she’s after.
She positioned herself and straddled me and gently pressed her wet greedy pussy on my cock.
A soft moan escaped my lips. I imagined it’s Sienna on me. I imagined the night I woke up from her fucking me or that night during Chad’s show in the office. Hell, fucking her in the office was blatantly hot. She became even more frenzied when I held her neck while I fucked her some more. She didn’t mind the choking—she just took it all. We wanted each other—in any imaginable way we can. I gripped Maria’s hips harder—feeling the intensity of my climax building and brewing inside. I pictured making love to her—her gasping face as I fill her—her screaming my name—her face as she orgasms. “Fuck Sienna!” screaming her name as I came.
“Bastardo!” Maria screeched as she climbed off me. Not the first time this happened. It happened the night I met her and every single time we fucked—which was a lot in the last two days.
I shrugged when I heard the front door slammed with a little quake.
Not my bloody fault if she kept coming back after the first time. I didn’t mean it, not really. It just happens. My mind constantly revolves around Sienna. The only time I get a hiatus is at work, but somehow she even manages to penetrate my workaholic mentality at the oddest times. Like I would be spacing out during a meeting because I’ve been thinking about her smile or how she teases me. Anything and everything—always about her—and I’m bloody going mindlessly crazy with this.
When will the miserable longing stop? I hate feeling this way. I got up and took care of cleaning myself. I’m sure Maria left already—but not for long.
Strolling to the kitchen, I found Toby sitting with his laptop on the black granite breakfast countertop. “Maria?” he inquired without looking up.
“Yup” I said merely shrugging and continued, “I know I’m paying you tons to do an excellent job—but it’s almost midnight—you need to stop and do that in the office.”
“Yeah, well I needed to straighten out a lot of the budget. This is such a bloody mess,” Toby mumbled and took a long sip of his beer.
“Well who would’ve thought the old arse was embezzling money. If he wasn’t grandfather’s good friend, I would’ve gladly punished him—but hey granddad pretty much said to let it go.”
He smirked. “Sure…five million pounds is easy to let go for you folks.”
Opening the fridge to get bottled water—drank some and turned around to face him. I grew up with Toby. We went to the same boarding school and went to the same university. We grew up privileged, but his father’s gambling took a toll on the Watson’s bank balance and it’s been dwindling ever since. His parents have been pressuring him to help out his younger brother, Liam, through high school and he’s been lending them a hand. He was making decent amount in his other job in one of the leading hedge fund companies in Europe in the finance department. But when I found out about what the old McKenzie was doing—I threw him out and hired Toby. I’m paying him double to ease some of the pressure. And he’s worth it, not only am I lending him a hand—he also happens to be a genius when it comes to money. Toby’s the closest thing I have for a brother and it pains me to see him stressed out about his father’s failings.
Toby cleared his throat and looked me in the eye. “Mate—for years I haven’t said a word with all your follies—but what in God’s name are you doing? I see you’re hurting—but you won’t talk about it. You’re drunk most nights and frolicking with different women. What the hell happened with Sienna? Lucy and Chad are clueless too—no one is talking and we’re all wholly baffled.”
Fuck, I knew this was going to come.
When Toby moved in a few days after Sienna left, he never said a word about it. He simply dodged the whole subject, but I knew he was giving me time to come to terms with my problem—my pride—but now time’s up.
Never once had I retained any reservations when it comes to talking to Toby—this bit with Sienna—where do I even begin? It was a bloody calamitous disaster. And my best friend is still staring me down, waiting.
Blimey, this is bloody difficult…just start with a cleaner version, less hassle…less questions.
“She found out about Camilla. I promised I would take care of it and I did. She obviously was gutted about it—I understood that—but I couldn’t lose her—so I proposed—she turned me down and left to LA with that cretin named Kyle. End of story.”
“Wait—you proposed? Like marriage?” his face disbelieving.
“Yes! Exactly that! End of discussion.” I roared at my friend’s face which he unfortunately didn’t notice.
How the heck does he know how this feels like? He’s so smitten with Lucy.
“Mate—I knew you were/still enamored with her—but you proposed marriage…you’re that in love with her… Wow, I get it now—all these clamoring different women….” He trailed off shaking his head, “—but mate—you can’t fuck your way out of this one.”
“We’ll see about that,” barely hearing my own murmur because I simply doubted it myself. I have a slim chance in hell getting over that woman who unequivocally bewitched me. But I have to try at least and try I will.
I can’t keep living like this—like my insides—like my soul is being sucked out of me—it’s frightening. Surely there are tons of broken people who move on quite easily, why couldn’t I be one of those people? I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t at least try—even if my method is ‘fucking my way out of it'.
“She’s back you know. Why don’t you go see her?” Eyeing me with those knowledgeable blue eyes.
“Fuck no! I’m not going to crawl back and beg again. Once was humiliating enough. I’m sure Matthews got her now.” The thought of her being with Matthews is killing me. She needs to get out of my head and make camp somewhere else. It’s like having insanity running havoc in your head.
“Yeah cause’ her being with Matthews is what you really want,” he finished his beer and slammed it down on the counter.
“Listen—she didn’t want me. There’s no why or how—she just doesn’t. Do you not think I berate myself enough for not telling her about Camilla? I do—but my apologies were shrugged off and dismissed without consideration. If she doesn’t want to be with me—then what is the point with begging again for her to come back? I’m convinced that I was just a little jaunt to get over her hurt from the cheating wanker.”
“You both did start dating quite quickly after Kyle. You probably have a point—Luce did mention you were the second man she’s dated after him. And I suppose you two being close friends helped your cause. So, if that theory is true…being used as a rebound by Sienna shouldn’t be so bad, I take it? It is Sienna we’re talking about…I know few mates who are captivated by her but I doubt they can hold against Kyle or you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you mate about her and Kyle. She used to talk about being married to him before you even came in the picture.”
“You did—and I didn’t pay heed. I couldn’t—I wanted her.”
“There were times I saw her look at you in a certain way—like conflicted somehow—but the way her eyes looked—I thought she was in love.”
“She doesn’t… she never did.” Painful but it’s the truth. Idiot me thinking I’ve found the one.
“What happened with the Clayworths then?”
“They were understanding and said they wanted me to be happy. Camilla was shattered of course. She already had her dress drawn out and ideas where the wedding was to be held. I like Camilla, she and I are compatible—and she loves me. But I fell in love with Sienna. I wanted it to be like the usual blasé I went for—but she was different—she rocked my world and came out of it leaving me in shambles.”
“Anyone with eyes can see how Camilla is so smitten with you mate. You always treated her differently than your usual conquests. You took her on holidays and such—then I again you needed that to get to know your wife-to-be. I think Camilla is a great woman—but I’m biased because I love Sienna and you’re my friend—so I want you two to be together. But since you’ve categorized that subject as rubbish and you’re done fighting for Sienna and handing her over to Kyle —why don’t you want to date Camilla? You do like her and you two seem quite compatible actually. All these different women Blake—surely it’s taxing? Think about it.
“I’m really starting to hate Sienna. My whole life is out of order.”
“Doubt that but sure, whatever you say. I’m off to bed. See you in the morning.” He took his laptop with him and left the kitchen.
Damn him. He knew how much I hated Kyle Matthews and he kept rubbing it in. Every night I’ve been tortured with thoughts of them together. It’s no wonder I drunk myself to sleep most nights.
Leaving the kitchen towards the stairs and headed to my own room. I needed a shower and clean myself off of any traces of Maria on my body.
Can I really consider dating Camilla? I have to be sure because Camilla’s a great girl and I don’t want to hurt her again.
Turning the dials on my steam shower, I dwelled on my thoughts. Sienna, you really crippled me. I abhorrently thought.
I have to rein my feelings before this whole disaster falls apart and imminently affect my work. I can’t let down grandfather. This company is my legacy. My children will inherit this someday and their children’s children. Hell, the thought of kids turns my stomach into acid. A little girl that looked like Sienna floated around my head.
God, how I want that woman—it’s maddening. Maybe if I could taste her one more time—get her out of my system—it would help. She did believe in closures, didn’t she? She went to see Kyle for ‘closure’ and moved on with me. I suppose I could test that theory.
Fuck! Fuck! I’m getting hard thinking about her body. I’ve had sex three times today, but put Sienna in my thoughts and I instantly get a hard-on.
I’ll figure something out. I always do.
I want to possess her—for the last time.
Then I can move on and not look back.